Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Not Smoking? Well go and do it outside then!

This is a list of alternative tobacco warning messages. Compiled by me, but originally written by many distinguished smokers.


Smoking is bad for you:

Smoking kills but war's more effective

Enjoy: the last 10 years of your life are shit anyway!

Fuck it - I can't even spell emphysema

Fatal diseases cure boredom

Only 400 poisonous chemicals!

Lung transplant not included

100% of non-smokers die

Smoking: When killing your liver with booze is just not enough

Cancer's not so bad once you get used to it

Warning: Contains harmful chemicals. Yeah, right! So did Iraq!

Smoking damages your perm

Complaining about smoking is extremely dangerous- don't do it


Smoking is good for you:

Smoking Thrills

Those aren't nicotine stains. My teeth are suntanned from smiling

If I didn't smoke I'd just punch puritans

Cigarettes: A drink's just too wet without one!

Tar 6mg, Nicotine 0.5mg, Carbon Monoxide 7mg, Satisfaction 86.5mg

Warning: Smoking kills hunger

Smoking Chills

Smoking cures constipation

Smoking seriously enhances your coffee breaks

Smoking: cheaper than crack

Smoking: the fine art of sucking and blowing

Smoking can help you give up nose-picking

Smoking cures awkward silences

Smoking: keeps you slim


Some more:

I only smoke after sex. Would you like a cigarette?

Warning: Nagging gets on my nerves

I inhale

Don't like passive smoking? Try the real thing then, it's much better!

No cigarettes were harmed in the making of this box

I smell because I smoke- what's your excuse?

Jehovah's Witnesses don't smoke. Don't risk looking like one


Kids’r’us:

Protect Children: Smoke the first half for them

Protect Children: Buy them lights

Never give cigarettes to children - always sell them!

Smoking deters women with crying babies sitting near you

Smoking: Aiding miscarriages since the 1600’s

Smoking seriously decreases child abuse

Smoking might make you infertile, but who wants kids anyway?

Do not smoke near flammable children

Smoking when pregnant still makes you look fat


The 10 best are:

Smoking - still more acceptable in public than masturbation

Fags: They just confuse Americans

Marlboro Lights - They wouldn't sell if they didn't

Not Smoking? Well go and do it outside then

Cigarettes - keeping you safe in prison

Smoking - who said I can't commit?

Suitable for vegetarians

Passive Smoking is stealing. Buy your own.

I don't have time to count my sperm, thanks all the same

Smoking: preventing men falling asleep after sex since the 1600’s


And my personal favourite is:

Smoking Seriously Shortens Your Cigarettes

3 comments:

Flávio said...

Eu não fumo, mas quero t-shirts com estas frases!!! (As últimas estão brutais)

Pink Lady said...

Há muito que já não vinha aqui!

Um bem-haja Shô Ervilha!

Gione said...

I'm doing it outside your blog ok? Check it out :))))))