Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Albino Pea Masturbation Poem by Ervi “The New Pessoa” Mendel

I’m the Alpha Pea

I’m the domain master

I’m in love with me

Manually it’s faster


My seeds are green

My love is blue

Every time I do it

I only think of you


Shelled round peas

I dare dream of thee

While all along

I keep on touching me


All my fantasies

Come in gorgeous pairs

Every time I do it

I loose a lot o’hairs (Ed: That’s why you’re bald)


Do it everyday

Do it right now

Just do it anyway

Like a sacred vow


You can moan

You can shout

You can change the batteries

In case they’re out


I’m the Alpha Pea

I’m the Albino King

It’s kind of depressing

Loosing one’s cock ring


(Eu sei, mas a verdade é que andava tão bem comportado há tanto tempo que não me aguentei...)

8 comments:

Gi said...

Mashed pea, I presume!

Sara said...

Excellent! ;)

Poisoned Apple said...

Lindo! :)

Nikky said...

Ervi Mendel, tu davas um estudo de caso... lol

Catarina Morgado said...

Aproveito o teu post para deixar aqui um dos magníficos hinos dos Monty Pyton, com as respectivas indicações de quem canta o quê...Deixo apenas a parte final, pois acho que dá para perceber a mensagem.

(...)

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...

CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.

BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.

NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...

CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.

MOURNER #1:
Mine!

MOURNER #2:
And mine!

CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!!

Noiva Judia said...

gostei da veia (ou tratando-se duma ervilha, da nervura) poética. para quando podemos esperar uma antologia de poesia vegetal?

nagareboshi said...

bahahahahah, que tema tão original, há quem fale de amor, há quem fale de saudade e também há quem fale de ervilhas, dominância, masturbação gemidos de amor e sexo...é bom inovar XD

Bibendum said...

Hilariante alpha Pea. Isto não é um poema, isto é uma receita de culinária: Smached Peas with corrots! Temos poeta :D